April 13, 2010 Buzzzzzed

Public Relations Archive

Diana's "Message Song."

MSN and its Body Hair Story with the South American Country Name

Kurt Brokaw: MY LAST GOOGLE

The New Liberal Media Agenda

Hotel Madison Avenue

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Is Your Interactive Agency a Zoo?

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Jet Rouge... Come what may

Microsoft's "Vaporware" on MLK's Birthday.

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The MadAve Journal 25-Word Elevator Pitch

MadAve Journal Reviews From Industry Pros

The MadAve Journal's Subscriber Analysis

Just a Few of TMAJ Subscribers' Employers

McDonalds-Gate: Hail to the (Health) Thief

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"I am not a Crook = I am a Krok"

The Watergate Break-In demonstrated that the Wash DC administration at the top of the political food chain was little more than a pack of clowns. Unfortunately, this same behavior has become the face behind the mask of a company whose chief spokes-symbol "is" a clown.

Taken from a recent MSNBC news article, "Shifting the spotlight from French fries to fruit, McDonald's Corp. launched a new worldwide initiative Tuesday promoting healthy living - the latest effort by the world's largest restaurant chain to combat criticism of its food and business."

A New Government Bureau: Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms & Fast-Fat

Other industries managed by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms have been able to soften negative publicity by the admittance of the risk associated with them. Another indisputable and sympathetic point they have successfully made has been that they should be entitled to market their products within defined boundaries because in theory they are only marketing them to adults, who are mature enough to accept the risks they take on when they purchase alcohol, tobacco and firearm products. In essence, for and intents and purposes, adults have the maturity to make up their own mind. They should not prevented by the by the government to exercise their rights.

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Unfortunately, that does not apply here. How do 2-to-6 year olds or younger who see Ronald McDonald and other McHealth-burglars understand the risks associated with their products? The government provides no restrictions, which allows and invites MickeyD's to lure children into each McDonald's fat-farm, through Pied-Piper-like singing and dancing. So how are McDonald's tactics any different from the child-cannibalism of the Pied Piper of Hamelin?

Once upon a time, the Pied Piper's lured children of all sizes as if by magic to the sound of his strange piping. The long procession soon left the town and made its way through the wood and across the forest till it reached the foot of a huge mountain. When the piper came to the dark rock, he played his pipe even louder still and a great door creaked open. Beyond laid a cave. In trooped the children behind the pied piper, and when the last child had gone into the darkness, the door reeked shut. A great landslide came down the mountain blocking the entrance to the cave forever."

McDonald's is feasting on women and children in a way ironically and perversely very similar to the dictionary definition of the word molestation. molestation: n. the act of subjecting someone to unwanted or improper advances or activity (especially women or children)

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It's strange how the Omnicom and Publius companies know exactly how to reach "heavy users" for the McDonalds brands, yet when they spend and/or consult for the government anti-obesity campaign which has millions of dollars set aside for this effort, they ironically have little impact. For a campaign that is all about health food education, McDonald's is the least reputable company to do that. It's as believable as oil companies talking about their love of conservation.

Burnett/DDB McDonald's Marketing + McDonald's Food = McEnron.

Adults make up their own minds about ATF products. ATF was created due to the harmful effects ATF had on innocent bystanders, such as:

1. Drunk drivers being more dangerous to innocent bystanders or drivers than the drunk drivers themselves
2. Second-hand smoke causing cancer in people who never lit up a cigarette in their lives
3. Well-aimed or stray bullets being fatal on both sides. We learned this long before Columbine.

Recent news coverage of the campaign reported in the media, this one from MSNBC is a super sized example of how McDonald's is hoping this problem will go away, "The "It's what I eat and what I do ... I'm lovin' it" campaign includes television ads, new packaging, an updated Web site and a fresh series of Ronald McDonald videos teaching children how to eat well and stay active. "We will use our size and strength to set an example," said Chief Executive Officer Jim Skinner, who declined to put a price tag on the campaign."

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What an insincere move from once a highly respectable company The PR value of the McDonald's "health" campaign is worth millions, so why should they spend any more than they have to. If Skinner had actually allocated an impressive figure behind this effort, why wouldn't they announce it? Because it is cosmetic, smoke and mirrors, secret sauce.

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1. Unlike ATF brands, MickeyD's doesn't acknowledge that their main menu can be unhealthy if consumed at "heavy-user" levels. There's no safety precaution. The "heavy-user is and will always be the target McDonald's media is aimed at. That's like tobacco companies playing dumb about the harmful effects of smoking.

2. McDonalds doesn't suggest a moderate level of recommended consumption and have no plans to back away from heavily promoting fries and "Happy meals" to young children. That's like the beer companies who kept ignoring that alcohol was the number 1 reason for teen and young adult fatal auto accidents

3. Interest groups are not going to go away. That's like the NRA's campaign "guns don't kill people, people kill people." Certainly the NRA has maintained its hold on Washington much more than tobacco and alcohol industries, though it is only due to annual drainage of expensive cold hard cash to limit more restrictive governmental policies.

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While the USDA simply requires McDonald's to post their ingredients (which are hard to find in their fat-farm stores) there is no governmental agency with authority to restrict the unhealthy products they use. The FDA tightly controls the pharmaceutical business that annually makes a windfall of profits to counteract the illnesses McDonald's food causes. Yet Wash DC continues to be uncomfortably quiet about addressing the issue of obesity.

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Ironically, they choose to spend hundreds of millions of dollars through the same companies promoting the garbage McDonald's sells. This is a cover-up at the level of Watergate, like the ham-burglars of yesteryear, it is run being by out-of-touch executives whose real target is to serve their owner-operator network that make enormous profits on the backs of inner-city youth, paying them minimum wage.

The ATF was created due to the ground-swell of public complaints about how these industries, left unchecked stood to wreak unnecessary harm on society, which would draw in innocent bystanders in one way or the other.

Like the Walrus in Alice in Wonderland, the government needs to prevent them, who act like the Walrus luring our precious children a healthy diet with the promise of a delicious meal, only to find that they in fact are on the profit-menu.

Studies show that actually working at a McDonalds over a period of time can be hazardous to your health. Therefore, it is any surprise that McDonald's has one of the most successful lobby's successfully fighting to keep the minimum wage as low as possible.

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Like the Walrus in Alice in Wonderland who tricked the young little oysters away from their oyster beds with the promise of a delicious meal, young (soon to be obese) children in the last 20 years and what looks like the next 20 years will find that they too are on McDonald's menu, of success.

It didn't have to be like this, though looking at the them with their "cat ate the canary looks" on the McDonald's team here, there's little doubt that the house that Krok built is now run by crooks, who not surprisingly resemble the bozos who once ran CREEP!

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"The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit" Different Film Promo Posters

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By Kurt Brokaw, Culture Editor

1956: Hollywood has a continuing fascination with returning war veterans who can't adapt to a changed workplace and home life. Robert Ryan, for example, spent years following World War II playing unhinged psychopaths in a variety of failed occupations.

Here, Gregory Peck played the first corporate type – a supposedly heroic captain who becomes a public relations middle manager at the United Broadcasting Company (UBC), a media conglomerate with exteriors shot in Rockefeller Center.

"Lover Come Back" Different Film Promo Posters

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By Kurt Brokaw, Culture Editor

1959: Of the many successful movie pairings of Doris Day and Rock Hudson, this is the one that looks at Madison Avenue as a screwball comedy. The plot is quite clever. Doris is the AE in charge of new business pitches. She notices that Rock, her counterpart down the street, keeps winning new accounts through booze and babes.

She Loves Him, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah...

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No, this isn't going to recap the story of John and Yoko. And No, it's also not going to cast an adoring light on our greatest, fallen 20th-century minstrel.

Marking the 25th anniversary of losing our beloved John, (parts of us still can't believe it), this investigates why Yoko Ono should be acknowledged as one of the great masters of communication of our time, even more than her celebrated husband, and for her masterful use of Madison Avenue's tools of the trade, all for the good.

A sometimes violent man externally, a man of war internally (with himself), and a man of peace intellectually, without Yoko Ono, John Lennon's legacy would be skyscrapers lower than it is today.

Begin by considering the platform she inherited when she joined Lennon as his mate, amid one of the most dizzying media circuses of all time. Today, a careful review of her work will shed light on what is lacking with many of today's communication programs, and maybe why so much of the media that is plastered up everywhere just fades into the woodwork.

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It began, of course, in an art gallery with "YES", the word printed in a tiny font on a huge white canvas that was bolted onto the ceiling; it was printed so small that Lennon and other gallery visitors had to climb up on the ladder there and use the magnifying glass, also part of the artpiece, in order to see it.

With that, she won Lennon's heart and mind forever. Because she was a performance artist herself, in hindsight we can see how she was uniquely qualified to use the "brand equity" that came with becoming the wife of a Beatle. She held the spotlight in her hand with the same purposeful indifference that one holds a handrag as they approach a kitchen much in need of cleaning. And how she scrubbed, with particular attention on the hypocrisy of the world's global leaders' ideologies vs. public declarations - with a ferocity that made their (public) skin and tempers raw. Yes, Lennon's fair petite artiste did it with the tiniest of voices and giggles that irritated most of the world.

YES.... It was that simple.

MadAve At The Movies & HBO: Jerry Maguire

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By Kurt Brokaw, Culture Editor ...with additions from the peanut gallery.

1996: Tom Cruise’s title character has its true-life origins in a sports agent named Leigh Steinburg, who persuaded many A-level sports stars to give generously to good causes. This is important to note, for “Jerry Maguire” the movie, with its layers and layers of goodwill, zest and sincerity, wants you to believe it’s a true-life dramatization of the world of sports marketing.

The film’s McGuffin (in Hitchcockian terms) is Jerry’s Mission Statement on fair play, integrity, loyalty and 20 other nice things that would make a motivational movie itself. It’s the exact reverse of Michael Douglas’ “greed is good” speech in the movie “Wall Street” a decade earlier. Douglas got applauded for his efforts, but Cruise gets fired. Only his lowly accountant (Renee Zellweger) and one low-level contract player (Cuba Gooding, Jr.) stick with Jerry, and the rest of the film is a struggle for these underdogs to stage comebacks and win big. You know Cameron Crowe, a good and trustworthy soul, wouldn’t write and direct it any other way.

MACVIDEONY Creative Work

Hey Google, Save the Curbs

Next-Gen Mobile Carrier: Magee

Sarah Fay in wwwLand, Parts 1 thru 3.

Alan Chapell Goes Public on Privacy, Parts 1-3.

800 lb Gorilla Fandango Makes Noise at App Planet

Agency Rich Media Lovers Boogie as Palm Gets "Flash-y"

Churchill @ the Mobile UpFront

Google's Buzz Gets Stoned @ the WMC

Don't Go Into the Bathroom!

MARKETING JOBS