Yes, Virginia There Really Once Were Ad Agencies
Virginia: Mommy, what were all those people from Google doing here last night?
Mommy: We had a little celebration for my 5-year anniversary working for Google.
Virginia: Wow, I was 3 years old when you began there. Do you still like working there?
Mommy: Yes, I do honey. I love it! We wouldn't be able to have this place here in Tuscany or our island near Hawaii if I didn't.
Mommy: It's true. Daddy wouldn't be able to fly up to the North Pole and refurbish all his ski resorts either if I didn't work there. He needs to do that more than ever now since that's the only place on earth where there's fresh powder.
Virginia: You mean, if you didn't work at Google he wouldn't be able to give the little kids who live up there rides in his jet?
Mommy: That's right. I wouldn't be able to give your friends here in Italy rides in my jet either. We wouldn't own WPP or anything else if I didn't work for Google.
Virginia: Did Mr. Sorrell come to the Christmas party last night?
Mommy: That's Sir Sorrell, dear. You know how he keeps reminding you about that. No, sweetheart. He said he didn't feel okay so he stayed home. But I think it was because I renamed one of the companies he used to own. You know, the one he sold us last year.
Mommy: That's right. I have a surprise for you!
Virginia: Really? What?
Mommy: I just renamed it, J-W-Me!
Virginia: Wow, but Mommy that was MY idea!
Mommy: I know, I renamed it for you, Honey. It was such a great idea!
Virginia: Thanks, Mommy! I'm so excited!
Mommy: I am too! Now you can show everyone who still works there how to make digital video commercials that you like, instead of the ones they're making now. You said you thought they needed help, so now you can help them!
Virginia: But they won't listen to me. I'm only 8 years old.
Mommy: Oh yes they will! I told Sir Martin myself that he has to take a meeting with you at least once a week. I've gotten it all taken care of.
Virginia: That's so cool. I can't wait to tell my class. Can I let my friends too?
Mommy: Of course, dear.
Virginia: But won't Mr. Sorrell, er, I mean Sir Sorrell be mad at me if I do that?
Mommy: He might at first but he works for us now so he'll have to get used to it.
Virginia: He's so moody. How come he works for Google anyway? Didn't he used to own all the companies Google owns now?
Mommy: That's right, Virginia. But all his clients said they didn't want to work with WPP anymore. They wanted to work with us.
Virginia: But why are they still using WPP?
Mommy: Because it seemed easier for us to buy WPP versus moving all of that business over to us like their clients wanted to do. So now everybody is happy.
Virginia: Why did you do that?
Mommy: It was just easier than getting all the lawyers involved to have their clients move their account over from WPP to Google! We thought we would save everybody time by just buying WPP!
Virginia: What are you going to do to keep the lawyers busy?
Mommy: We don't know yet. Do you have any ideas?
Mommy: Really? What?
Virginia: You should make them buy the New York Times.
Mommy: Really? Why?
Virginia: So Google will make them put comics in it.
Mommy: Hmmm... that's a good idea, Honey. Why don't you write a note to Santa and ask him to do that while I make a call, okay?
Virginia: Okay, Mommy. Wow... I own an ad agency now. Just like that guy on Mommy & Daddy's favorite program, MAD MEN.