April 13, 2010

Calvin Klein's Honest Role In the Creation of Movie SPAM

"Want to know what gets between me and my Calvin's? Nothing."
Brooke Shields


"Want to know what gets between consumers and movie theatre advertising? Nothing."
S.P.A.M Operators of America

(Strategically Placed Advertising Movie-Theatre Operators)

Everyone now knows how Brooke was misunderstood and manipulated by the media years ago when they suggested that she referenced anything other than her CK undergarments and socks in her innocent statement above.

Similarly, the media now twists the popularity of SPAM at the movies, making it seem like movie-goers don't like it. The truth is they do. What's really at play here is the media's desire to continually twist and distort the taste, honesty and artistry of Mr. Calvin Klein.

"It's about honesty rather than fake glamor," Calvin said in a statement to Advertising Age back in 1996. The publication also reported that "underwear ads may appear on the back of movie theater popcorn bags... since Mr. Klein has decided lifestyle marketing means reaching his target wherever they are found".


Back then, Calvin Klein broke new ground by promoting his new "CK BE" fashion line on popcorn bags in movie theatres. His desire to place underwear ads on the back of movie theater popcorn bags was then and is now, all about "Honesty".

Strategically Placed Advertising at the Movies Operators of America

As big fans of Mr. Klein and his tasteful, honest and historical record of using patriotic imagery in all his advertising, SPAM Operators saw the positive impact that "theatre-mercials" had in their intimate venues. Recently, they undertook a huge research study to prove how SPAM does not detract from the movie-going experience. It's just the opposite. It enhances it.

Topline Research Learnings:


Concessionaire-Counter Intuitive - Contrary to popular belief people enjoy standing on line to buy popcorn, peanuts, super-sized soda, goopy Velveeta on tortilla chips, M&M's, Twistlers and other quality foods. The evil media wrongfully suggests that consumers get frustrated. Not true. In reality, there's a fun-loving spirit that is transformative and brings people more together, especially when someone "holds up the line".


"And The Oscar Goes To" = "May I Take The Next Guests Order"?

There's a sublime correlation between a movie-goer standing on line at the concessionaire in great anticipation to buy their movie snacks to that of an Oscar nominee praying, and anticipating to hear if the Oscar winner goes to him or her. This does not happen by accident. SPAM Operators design the concession experience specifically to emote this urgency and excitement! We feel "everybody is a star"!


Out For a Good Time: Consumers are more than happy to pay super-premium prices for concessionaire delicacies as a "weekend reward" for the work they put in during the week watching primetime TV. Everyone knows you get what you pay for. Movie-goers know they pay top dollar to get the very best. SPAM Operators do not want to "rob them" of this simple "At-a-boy" pat on the back.


Audiences Are Happier!: If SPAM Operators lowered the concession delicacy food prices, consumers would feel less special. Research shows that paying super-premium prices for buttered popcorn actually makes people feel more like a movie star. Everyone knows Hollywood celebrities pay handsomely for everything, from their Calvin Klein clothes they wear to the Porsche cars they drive.


Theatre Etiquette - An Obsession For Courtesy to Others in the Audience

Talking: Contrary to conventional thinking, the reason most people who arrive early to the theatre sit in the middle or the back of the theatre in order to be polite. Why? Just good manners. Everyone knows on Broadway that the best seats in the theatre are up close to the stage. Following this seating-etiquette, early arrivals want to give late arrivals that same entertainment experience.


Coats on Seats: Another misunderstood behavior. Research shows that people put their coats on the seats next to them, not to dissuade fellow movie-goers to sit next to them. Just the opposite. It's to incent late movie-going arrivals to feel like the seat was saved just for them. It really breaks the ice between strangers.


Letting a person in/out of the Aisle: The media lets everyone believe that movie-goers are put out when they are asked to move/get up so a person can use that one unused seat (with 14 coats on it) in the middle of the row. The media positions this "huffing and gruffing" by pre-seated movie fans is because they are annoyed. Yeah, right. The truth is, people are actually "cooo-ing" and sending subtle messages to (generally overweight) late arrivals that the movie is really good so they should waste no time with opening their M&M's or retrieving their keys that fell on the floor and "get into the movie" ASAP so they don't miss a single scene.


Aisles with Little Leg Room: Theatres are in fact trying to promote that their customers be more health conscious. While many feel that small aisles allow movie theatres to put more seats in the theatre, the shortened leg space actually incentivizes people to do "isometrics" during the movie. Essentially multi-tasking while they enjoy the film.


People Become Animated and Love The Important Pre-Film Information and Instructions: Some movie-goers become disoriented between their home TV viewing and their movie-theatre viewing. Research shows it's diagnosed as, "TV commercial sensory deprivation." Therefore, SPAM Operators feel compelled to run lots of theatre-mercials aleviate this to make them feel right at home.


They also help avoid Bathroom accidents in aisles: People are creatures of habit. Who has not used a TV commercial break to use the bathroom facilities? SPAM Operators run pre-film theatremercials in part to remind movie-goers to use bathroom facilities NOW, in order to avoid any potential messy and distracting clean-up problems that might occur in their seat during the movie.


Viewers Love Theatre-mercials. Research shows that they are "glued" to their seats. That's because they are :60 to :90 long. Contrary to negative feedback, movie-goers actually feel they get more for their money with these entertaining and high quality messages. SPAM Operators often find people taking notes to make sure they remember each and every marketer's message.


Will Rogers Institute-Like Charity Drives: Nothing makes movie-going audience feel more "captivated" than seeing well-known and respected role models like Charleton Heston or Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee with a "we're all in this together" heart-tugging messages and then asking for money. Passing the bucket around generates the most profound reactions.


Theatre Instructions: Always appreciated as much as they are on airline travel, (even the most experienced frequent flyer), research shows that audiences like to feel part of the team, which simultaneously improves their post-film movie theatre experience. SPAM Operators are impressed how many "roll up their sleeves" and help keep the theatre tidy. Keeping the theatre clean allows the theatre to reduce excessive and unnecessary minimum-wage staff. Everyone knows that this is the primary factor for any increases in the cost of movie tickets.

The Coming Attractions portion of the research will be published next week. However, here are some "coming attractions":


The Action-Adventure


The Hot & Spicy Sizzler


The Buddy Movie


The Indie


The One Long Chase Scene


The Mystery

Hold on to your ticket stubs.!

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