April 13, 2010
 

Buzz & Woody's Toy (Radio) Story

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Woody: Buzz, I had the strangest dream last night. It reminded me of you and me. You're not going to believe it. You were the hero!

Buzz: So why couldn't I believe it [smiling]? Doctor Phil LightYear here, at your service. Step into my office star command and take a load of your boots. Relax and rest on the couch!

Woody: Wow! You've been watching a lot of Oprah lately!

Buzz: So tell me. What was your dream?

Woody: I think it was kind of symbolic. See, I was a radio sitting on a desk in Andy's office. And you were his desktop computer right next to me. My name was Audio Stereo. I might have been Italian. Your name was HP Dell. What do you think that means?

Buzz: What's important is what YOU think it means?

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Woody: I'll get to that later. See, Audio was crying! He was upset that his friends, his audience weren't listening to him anymore. Audio wasn't making the same money either. They were giving it all to you, I mean HP.

Buzz: Hmmm...

Woody: HP tried to console Audio. He started clicking his fingers to get Audio's attention.

Buzz: HP had fingers?

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Woody: Ahh, Hey Buzz?

Buzz: Yes Woody?

Woody: Would you stop asking questions right now? It was my dream. What can I tell you, HP had fingers! Do you want to hear the dream I had or not?

Buzz: Of course, I do. I'm assuming you interpreted HP's keyboard as fingers since he made that clicking sound.

Woody: Buzz, please stop analyzing everything or interrupting me, okay?

Buzz: Okay, Woody, please continue.

Woody: Thank you. Now, let's see where I was. HP started clicking his keyboard. He was trying to get Audio's attention. HP looked over to Audio and said, "Pssst. Hey you, Audio, can you hear me? Are you listening?" Audio just looked at HP. Audio then looked around the room to make sure that Andy wasn't around and said to HP, "You can't talk to me. I don't know how to listen. I'm only programmed to sing and talk". So HP said, "You are?" and then Audio said, "Yes. Don't you know? I'm a radio. Radio's don't listen, they only sing and talk." Then HP said, "What are talking about? Of course radios know how to listen. You just need to do more of it. You need to practice it more instead of just singing and talking all the time."

Buzz: Continue.

Woody: So Audio said, "How can I listen? All I have is this big mouth. I don't have any ears. Sometimes I have two mouths to talk twice as loud, but that's it". So HP said, "What about your 99X call-in contest telephone? Don't you hear the people calling? Don't you listen to the 10th person who calls at least?" So Audio said, "Yeah, but that doesn't make me a good listener. Anyway, stop talking to me about listening. I'm not upset about my listening. I'm ticked off because of you. You're stealing all my sponsor money. You're also stealing my audience. They're not listening to me anymore. HP Dell, you're the problem. You're stealing all my listeners and the money I used to get for singing and talking. You're the one taking it away from me!"

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Buzz: "Sounds like there's a little transference between them."

Woody: "It gets worse. Then HP said. "Hey don't blame it on me. I'm just listening better than you. I'm also doing some things you could be doing but you're not. You're stuck in doing everything the same old way. Everybody's been trying to give you hints but you haven't been listening. You just drone on and on with irritating commercials, always trying to sell thing almost nobody wants. It's really gets on everybody's nerves. Plus, you put your audience in these cookie-cutter pre-historic brackets, like Men 18-34 or Women 25-54. You've dumbed down your singing and talking into one-trick-dog radio formats and think people can be categorized the same way. Well Audio, that's just not true. You no longer have any respect for your audience and they know it. Maybe if you were a little more sensitive to your listeners and listened a little to them, you wouldn't be in this mess." So Audio said, "HP, what do you mean? I'm just doing as I'm told. My bosses just keep feeding more and more of that junk. Are you telling me that people don't like it? I don't like it either but what choice do I have?""

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Buzz: Sounds somewhat passive aggressive between HP and Audio, or should I say some aggressive passive between Audio and HP. Not sure which."

Woody:"Don't interrupt me."

Buzz: "See you don't like to listen. Er, I mean Audio doesn't like to listen."

Woody: "Then you, er, I mean HP said, "Audio, you have a responsibility to tell your program directors. I know it's not you that's stuck, it's your idiot bosses, I mean your "id" that needs some work They're sirius-ly worried about the wrong things. If they would not be so strict in your type of radio format voice that would help a lot." And then Audio said, "HP, you said you're doing something that I also could be doing but I'm not. What is it? What are you doing that I should be?" And then HP said, Well, for one, I'm doing a lot more singing and talking myself lately. I'm adding on more of your stations. Some people go to me for their radio." And then Audio said, "What???? See, it IS your fault. You're stealing my listeners AND my sponsors." And then HP said, "Audio, it's not your people and it's not your money. You don't own them. You've just gotten used to thinking you do. You think they're rightfully yours just because you've had them for so long." And then Audio said, "Well, you're right. I need to clean up my act a little and stop blabbing so much. But you're taking my singing and talking. What do you call that?" And then HP said, "I call it helping! I'm trying to help you, but you're not listening." And then Audio said, "HP, you're trying to confuse me. How can you be helping me by taking my singing and talking away from me." And then HP said, "Hey Stereo, you've got static coming out of no one but both mouths. I didn't say I was "taking" your station's singing and talking away from you. I said was I was "adding" them on." There's a big difference. And the Audio said, "How is that possible? How can you add singing and talking. People only read you. You're like a book."

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Buzz: "So, let me see if I have this straight. HP Dell is adding Audio's singing and talking to his content but he says he's not hurting Audio. This HP character is quite a character. He's pretty smart. I could see why you see a resemblance to me. He's more complex than I thought!"

Woody: "Don't get carried away." He's hardly perfect. When he's under pressure, he tends to "freeze up" or even "crash" sometimes."

Buzz: But still, HP's telling Audio that he has a way to help him. He seems like he's reaching out to Audio.. Maybe they are interconnected in a way.

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Woody: "Funny you say that Buzz, cause that's what HP said, "Audio, I'm more than just a book. Just as much as you're more than just a singer and a talker. Your stations have been adding your singing and talking onto the Internet so people can hear you through me. Many people still enjoy listening to you, when they can only hear you at work if they don't have a radio. They listen to you online, through me. They're listening to you more and more online. You may not have known that because they are doing it where you aren't around. Audio, you're much bigger than you think and have a chance to really get a lot of the money back that I'm now getting. If we could work together, they would give me part of the money they've been spending on you and then I'll pass it over to you." And then Audio said, Ohhhh. I'm beginning to understand." And then HP said, "Well Audio, before you think that's the only thing you need to do, there's actually a little more we need to talk about. You see, just as I have part of you inside me. You have part of me inside you." And then I said, HP, "you've completely lost me on that . Why would people then spend money on me when they are really spending money on you. What do you have that I also have? Are you trying to confuse me?" And then HP said, "You have part of me inside you."

Buzz: Wow, Woody, I think I'm a little confused. Audio is not good at listening, yet HP is great at it. HP says he has parts of Audio in him and that Audio has parts of HP inside him. Sounds like they are co-enabling each other.

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Woody: That's right! Then HP said, "Audio, whether you know it or not, everyone of your stations already has a web-site! Didn't you know that? Every time you talk and say "...or go to our website at W123.com to enter to win"…what's you're really saying is inviting for people to come over to use me to reach you at your website! See, you're part of me and I'm part of you."

Buzz: "I think I'm also beginning to understand. HP and Audio are in fact inter-connected to each other. Besides people listening to Audio's radio stations on radio and on the Internet, they can also connect with him through the phone and through the website. That's incredible!"

Woody: I agree. So Audio then asked HP, "Why aren't the stations coordinating all three together?" And then HP said, "Audio, you now understand it, but before this, you didn't. Your bosses have been so focused on buying up all the stations and put a straight-jacket on you about what you could sing and talk about, in the narrowest ways. They have only now realized their mistakes because you are losing your audience and sponsors. "So Audio said, "You know, HP, you're right. I guess we got used to being turned on all day long and forgot to think about what we sounded like anymore. What can I do about it? Is it too late?" And then HP said, "Too late? Audio, it's just the opposite! I wanted to talk to you since you seemed so down and out to let you know that if we work together, soon we'll be at the beginning of a whole new era! And then Audio almost disbelievingly, "Really?" And then HP said, "Audio, radio has always been a favorite medium for people. You just need to think smarter. Heck, look across the room over there and see how bad TV looks these days. His problems make yours look like skipping record. You're the most local electronic medium there is! Tell your bosses to check out a company called Centro! They can really do a lot to help us together. They'll work with us and our sponsors to reach local audiences you used to sing and talk to so well. Centro only works with local media sites that audiences trust. Like local radio station sites! And then Audio said, "Gee, thanks HP, you really made me feel alot better... Shh, did you hear something? Is Andy coming? And then HP said, "No, I think that was the TV over there listening to us. He just went blank!"

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Buzz: So, this HP Dell really wasn't kidding. He and Audio were actually able to work it out afterall. It's like they're more alike than they thought! So why did you think your dream was about me and you?

Woody: Awe C'mon Buzz, you know you thought you were better than me when we first met. You acted like you knew more than me, just like HP Dell.

Buzz: Wait a second Woody, HP Dell helped get Audio back on his feet again. You weren't exactly high on your horse when I met you. You're the one who was intimidated of me!

Woody: Buzz, let's not argue about it. Check out Mr. Potato-Head over there. Since I mentioned the part about TV, Mrs. Potato-Head has been all over him. His eyes, ears, nose and mouth are about to pop out.

Buzz: Good idea old Buddy! He looks like he needs all the help he can get! Maybe he dreamt he was a boob tube last night!

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